The Art Of Awkward Negotiations: Comical Tales Of Annoying Buyers Trying Their Luck

Facebook Marketplace is an online platform where users can buy and sell goods locally. It was designed to assist individuals and businesses in connecting and conducting transactions within their communities. It’s also where we have met the most annoying people — either buyers or sellers, or worse, both.

Negotiating over a sale is like trying to herd cats — frustrating, confusing, and sometimes downright hilarious. You start off with a clear idea of what you want to pay, but the seller always seems to have a different number in mind. You counter with a lower offer, they come back with a higher one, and before you know it, you’re both so far apart that you might as well be negotiating in different languages.

You’re both determined to win, but you’re not quite sure what winning actually looks like. Is it getting the item for a steal, or is it just annoying someone into submission?

Who Needs What

Conning someone into getting free gas is a devious and unethical practice. Buyers who engage in this behavior often use a variety of tactics. One such tactic is to go on Facebook Marketplace to get sellers to give away freebies.

Not even sellers are exempt from these scams. Nearly everyone has to be aware of these types of scams to prevent one’s time from being wasted. Imagine that: the seller ends up becoming the person persuading “Garry” to buy the item.

Nice Try

Selling something in return is a common practice that allows buyers to exchange unwanted items for something they need. This can be a great way to save money and reduce waste. But it only works if both want the item the other has.

Is this a new way to market: forcing someone to buy something from you by pretending you’re a buyer? This guy must have known that this attempt was not going to end well. He could always put his item up as a listing.

Show Me the Merch

Haggling over showing pictures of feet is like bargaining for a rare piece of art — it’s awkward, uncomfortable, and just plain weird. Whether as a joke or out of honesty, this person had thought that their feet were a work of art they could bargain with.

Sorry, but not everyone has a foot fetish. If anything, this kind of endeavor might end with this prospective buyer being reported and/or blocked. Besides, we are sure that no foot in the entire world is worth a $200 discount.

Hold It Right There

When it comes to pick-up conditions, buyers and sellers are cautious, curious, and ready to pounce at the slightest hint of trouble. The buyer wants to make sure they get their item in good condition, while the seller wants to make sure they get paid without any hassle.

They set out conditions, outlining the when, where, and how of the pickup. The buyer may insist on a specific time, while the seller wants to make sure they’re not left waiting around all day. After all, the seller has things to do! Who do you think was wrong in this scenario?

Stat

An hour isn’t too long to wait for a reply. Remember that sellers have lives too, or they could simply be at work. But this customer couldn’t help but get mad when he didn’t get a prompt response in less than a minute.

Sure, waiting for a response can be frustrating, but it’s no reason to blow a fuse. Instead of getting angry, buyers should take a deep breath, count to ten, and realize that the world won’t end if they don’t get an immediate response.

Pretty Please

A persistent buyer who’s offering to buy an item at half the price is like a mosquito buzzing around your ear — irritating, relentless, and impossible to ignore. They’ll haggle, beg, and plead, trying to get the seller to budge on their price.

It’s as if they think the seller will suddenly realize they’ve been asking too much all along and will jump at the chance to sell their item for a fraction of the cost. On the contrary, they’ll simply swat the buyer away and move on to the next buyer, who hopefully won’t be as persistent.

Once Again

This buyer saw a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and couldn’t let it go. He sent endless messages, asking if the item was still available, even though the seller had clearly stated that it’d been sold. Worse, the item had already been shipped.

Moral of the story: if the item has been sold, move on to the next one, buyers. There are plenty of other toys out there for you to play with. And also learn to take hints. This buyer couldn’t get the message through his head.

In High Demand

Dogs have paws, not feet, and they certainly do not need heels to look good. But that will not stop some dog owners from trying. Just look at this seller who had repurposed her dog to become a footwear model.

We would like to think that this seller was able to close the deal. But after seeing those platform heels on that dog, all motivation to purchase the footwear went out the window. Shouldn’t this fall under animal abuse? Most humans hate wearing heels; it must be excruciating for dogs.

What Happened

A seller reneging on the contract is like a magician pulling a disappearing act; they’re there one minute and gone the next. The buyer is left scratching their head, wondering what went wrong, and the seller is nowhere to be found.

Although this seller’s logic makes sense, he needn’t have been so blunt as to tell this seller that he is getting a lot of other offers for the original price. He could have said that the item had recently gone out of stock.

Playing the Part of a Victim

Selling an item you won is not unfair, as the seller has the right to do whatever they want with the property. However, it can be considered unfair if the seller misrepresents the item. As far as we know, this tv is an original.

So, we can’t see how it would be unfair to Alexandra. It may not feel good that someone won something and that they did not want to use it themselves. But since this tv is their property, then they should be able to dispose of it in whatever way they wish.

Other Things in Mind

Getting a good night’s sleep can make or break your mood the next day. That’s why it’s essential to take your time and do your research to find the perfect mattress to go with your bedframe. A restful sleep is worth the effort.

But this buyer had a different thing in mind. Not wanting to spend the effort to find himself a new mattress for hygiene purposes, he had expected the seller to include that in the deal. This buyer asked for pics of the bedframe. What did he really expect he’d be shown?

Finder’s Keepers

There was a person who desperately wanted to buy an item. The seller was asking for a price that was way out of their budget, and they were feeling defeated. In a moment of sheer desperation, this buyer decided to try something he had never done before.

He used his prized collection of Pokémon cards to barter for the item. He messaged the seller hoping that the latter would pounce upon the offer. Unfortunately, this seller isn’t an anime fan and wouldn’t accept any other modes of payment.

The Restraint

This buyer found the perfect item on Facebook Marketplace. But instead of negotiating on the posted price, he wanted to get a confirmation on the purchase price. Oh, we can just imagine the veins popping out of this seller’s neck.

To be fair, we know how annoying it is to peruse the captions (complete with hashtags) in order to find the purchase price. But it wouldn’t hurt for this seller to type in the answer. If the buyer can’t afford it, then he can move on to the next customer.

More Please

As consumers, it can be tempting to expect freebies or extra perks from a seller when making a purchase. However, it is very important to recognize that expecting freebies can have negative consequences for both the seller and the buyer.

You can’t expect someone to hand you an item for free just because it happened to be your birthday. It’s your special day and all, but you’re not that special for a seller to suffer a loss. Have your parents buy the item for you, if you want it so badly.

Overkill

This property owner decided he’d be blessing the lives of countless strangers as he cleaned up his property. He offers them an unlimited supply of rocks, stones, and bricks, which they can repurpose however they want to. He even offered to help load them onto a truck or trailer.

But that wasn’t enough for this person. Apart from getting the items for free, he even asked that he be paid for getting the rocks, bricks, and stones from this person’s yard. It sounds like overkill if you ask us.

Before Uber and Grab

Using Uber to transport sold goods can be a very convenient and efficient option for both sellers and buyers. Uber is a ride-hailing service that operates in many countries around the world, providing customers with a range of transportation options.

But that option never crossed this buyer’s mind. Instead, he asked the seller to have the item delivered to him. He might have fared better if he had rephrased the request and offered to pay the seller for the transport instead of barking orders.

No Offers

When it comes to negotiating with a seller, it’s not always easy to get what you want. However, if a seller accedes to a negotiation, it can be an excellent opportunity for both parties to come to an agreement that works for everyone.

This guy is lucky that this seller even considered the counteroffer. He pushed his luck a bit too far when he suggested that the item be delivered to Macclesfield. Instead of driving his pre-loved 1998 Subaru Forester, he will have to take public transportation for a little while longer.

Expects Sellers to be Mindreaders

It is important for sellers to respect the wishes of a buyer who no longer wants to be contacted. There can be a variety of reasons why a buyer may not want to be contacted. But it helps to convey that request to the seller.

Sellers are not mindreaders, and it is important for buyers to communicate their needs and preferences clearly in order to receive the best possible service. They cannot anticipate every need or desire of the buyer without clear communication. Also, we imagine the Attorney General would be pretty annoyed to receive a complaint about something so silly.

Beat You to It

Repricing a product at a higher cost is a common strategy used by sellers to maximize profits, but it can also have consequences for customer satisfaction and loyalty. Just why do you think this seller repriced the 2005 Dodge Dakota last minute?

Why of course, it’s the surest way to damage customer loyalty. If this guy can’t understand a definite no, then he might be able to understand that this seller isn’t giving away the Dodge Dakota for anything less than $6500. Take a hike, buddy!

The Lucky One

We have another case of a buyer asking for a freebie from the seller. We’ll give this guy some credit; he was very persistent. And ultimately, that persistence paid off. It seems like he’ll be getting the Lenovo Laptop for free!

…but that was before this seller dashed this buyer’s hopes, and for a good reason. We can’t stress it enough. Sellers are in the business to create some profit. When buyers expect freebies, they begin to feel entitled to special treatment or preferential treatment.

Get Yourself a New Budget

Negotiating with a seller can be a delicate process, but with the right approach, you can increase your chances of getting a fair deal. Start with a reasonable price. Avoid making an offer that is too low, as this can be insulting to the seller and may not result in a productive negotiation.

Be flexible and willing to compromise. Negotiations are a give-and-take process, so be prepared to make concessions if necessary. Depending on how badly you want the item, you might want to spend a couple of more dollars above your budget.

How Low

This is the shortest convo we have ever come across between a buyer and a seller. Despite that, we couldn’t help but laugh our heads off. Just how low did this buyer expect the price to go? People will probably only stop when the counteroffer is $0.

Not to judge this buyer, but if he can’t afford to buy an item for $2, he might just have to clock in a couple of more hours to save up for the purchase. We don’t know how you can negotiate something that is worth $2. That’s basically a giveaway.

Not to Brag

Sellers can create demand for their products or services in a number of ways. They can advertise their product on Facebook Marketplace, have an influencer market their product, build a brand around the item, or even create an idea of scarcity.

With limited stocks and a great demand for an iPhone SE, this buyer was in luck that this seller even spoke to him. How dare this buyer offer something that low of a counter-offer, and how dare he call this seller’s bluff?

Spelling it Out

Sometimes, a buyer may not be able to take a hint, whether it’s about not being interested in a product or service or not being available to communicate at the moment. This seller had been very direct about the item being already sold, but the buyer couldn’t get the hint.

We don’t know how else this seller could have been more direct. If we were in this seller’s shoes, we would have considered blocking or ignoring the guy altogether. It would have been the only way to protect our time and sanity.

Going Off Track

Negotiations can sometimes become heated or emotional, and it’s not uncommon for a buyer to get off track during the negotiation. Things took a funny turn when this buyer drew the curtains, lit a candle, and asked if the seller had an Only Fans page.

The seller couldn’t help but cut to the chase. He tried his best to stay calm and not get drawn into the buyer’s provocations, so he gave this ultimatum. He steered the conversation back to the topic at hand. We can imagine the buyer’s disappointment as he snuffs out the candles.

Jesus Would be Ashamed

When negotiating the price of an item, it’s not uncommon for a buyer to try to guilt-trip a seller into offering a lower price than they may have originally intended to. This buyer got a rude awakening when she dragged Jesus’ name into the conversation.

One thing is for sure, lady; even Jesus would be ashamed of the trick you’re trying to pull. And although we would not have called this woman out on it, it’s definitely satisfying to watch someone put this cheapskate of a buyer in her place.

Not Clear Enough

When negotiating a price with a seller, it’s important for both parties to be clear on the terms of the agreement. However, it’s not uncommon for a buyer to misunderstand the terms of the negotiation. This buyer might have been way too excited, and he missent the “like” button.

We can only imagine him with his hopes crushed — like an excited dog with his tail wagging one second and then limp behind his hind legs the next. Seeing that the parties aren’t clear on the agreement, this seller will have to negotiate with another prospective buyer.

Appeal to Emotion

It is not appropriate to bring personal matters or events into a business negotiation, as this can be seen as unprofessional. But this buyer spilled the tea, saying that the item he wanted to purchase was for his kid’s birthday.

It is also important to remain respectful and courteous throughout the negotiation process, but this buyer decided to let loose. It seemed that when this seller rejected his counteroffer, it was tantamount to an insult to his kid. We hope he has a backup plan for that birthday present.

Bon Voyage

When a buyer makes an impossible request from a seller during a negotiation, it is important for the seller to respond tactfully and professionally. But this seller couldn’t keep his temper intact. He sorely needed the money, and this guy was wasting his time.

He couldn’t think of another alternative that would suit them both. So, he flat-out rejected the guy and explained why the request couldn’t be fulfilled. It was during the lockdowns, after all, and people were expected to stay at home!

Perfect Condition

Call it intuition or common sense, but something tells us that this corset was stolen. This seller claims that it is in immaculate condition and that the store had broken its tag remover, so it still had its security tag on.

As long as the theft can’t be proven, then everything is okay, right? This woman is willing to bare it all, even the fact that she had, in fact, used the corset. As she puts it, she had grown out of it immediately. Sounds plausible, no?

Not Much There

When you are offered a particular service as a form of payment, you would consider if it has comparable value to the purchase price. This seller immediately knew she would be at a loss. After all, the buyer is offering a lapdance, and we don’t think he has much to offer.

No amount of compliments would change this seller’s mind. If anything, those unwanted sexual advances made her feel uncomfortable. She pressed the buyer to stop wasting her time and get a life outside of giving women lapdances. What a weirdo.

Don’t Need That

When a seller refuses to budge on a lower price, it can be frustrating for a buyer who is trying to negotiate a better deal. It is essential to understand the seller’s perspective. Why are they unwilling to lower the price?

Do not go around insulting them further by offering a lower counteroffer. They have already said no to the initial $200. What would make you think they would agree to $125? We can’t understand the nerve of some people, honestly.

Close Enough

Have you ever been lured in by the wild allure of an animal print sofa, only to find out it’s actually just a cracked leather disaster in disguise? If so, you’re not alone. This sofa is like a chameleon, blending into its surroundings.

It would have fooled us with its exterior, but we’re better than that. Give it a couple of more seconds, and you can tell that this sofa has weathered many house parties and sharp claws. This sofa is a true survivor, and it’s ready to roar its way into your home.

Other Options

Ah, the wedding dress. A bargain hunter’s dream come true. Some buyers seem to think that they can snag a silk wedding dress for nearly no cost, as if a designer gown made of the finest fabric in the world should be priced like a fast food value meal.

But here’s a reality check: silk wedding dresses are not cheap. They require skilled labor, expensive materials, and a level of craftsmanship that is simply not available at a bargain basement price. You might want to consider other options. Perhaps a DIY project using thrifted materials?

Empty Threats

Ah, the classic negotiation tactic of threatening the seller. Nothing says “I respect you as a businessperson” like veiled threats and intimidation. But here’s the thing, threatening the seller is not going to get you what you want. You’ll likely be reported.

Sellers have heard it all before, from “I’ll leave a bad review” to “I’ll never shop here again.” But unless you have actual leverage, like photographic evidence of them committing a crime, you’re just blowing hot air. Don’t make a joke of yourself, and pay up.

Let Pass

Picture this: a buyer with an irresistible urge to purchase an item, only to realize that they can’t actually drive and have no way of transporting it. Oops. It’s a classic case of getting ahead of yourself. How about paying for Lyft or Uber?

We’re guessing that if this buyer is relying on the mere generosity of this seller, then it’s likely that he or she doesn’t have the money to rent a taxi to get the merch. Imagine having to let a free TV pass because you didn’t have transport. Must suck.

Free Rides Too?

Here’s another instance of a buyer who has trouble having the free furniture delivered to his home. He could try a ride-share service or a taxi. But we’re guessing that with the distance, it’ll cost him more than the cost of that furniture.

Ultimately, the best solution is to plan ahead. Make sure to have options to transport any large items. And if all else fails, you can always walk to the seller’s home and carry the item home like a true champion. Just make sure you stretch first.

Nego Gone Wrong

We all love a good bargain, but there comes the point where the pursuit of a deal becomes downright comical. Case in point: the buyer negotiates for a $1 computer chair. Just how low did this buyer want the chair to go — $0.25?

Sure, you can try to haggle with the seller and offer them a sad tale of your dire financial situation, but let’s be real here. If you’re willing to go through the effort of negotiating for a $1 chair, maybe it’s time to reassess your priorities.

Gotta Stay Firm

Ah, the life of a poor college student. Endless ramen noodles, textbooks that cost more than rent, and a general sense of financial desperation. It’s no wonder that some students will try anything to save a few bucks, even if it means using their economic state as a bargaining chip.

“But I’m a poor student,” they plead as if their financial struggles are a magic spell that can conjure discounts out of thin air. Look, we get it. Being a student is tough. But that doesn’t mean you’re entitled to discounts on everything you buy.

A Crime Before Our Eyes

Picture this: you’re browsing online, and you come across a deal for an Xbox gift card at a price that seems too good to be true. You eagerly purchase it, only to discover upon arrival that the card has already been used. Talk about a buzzkill.

Except that the price isn’t even too good to be true. It’s priced the same as a brand-new Xbox gift card you can find at a store. If only we could have this seller arrested for attempting to commit theft, we would have called the authorities on him.

Maybe the 7th Time Around

We have got another failed attempt to negotiate. The buyer is purposefully ignoring the seller’s wishes and is forging ahead with his own agenda. It’s like trying to negotiate with a brick wall, and this time, the seller won’t budge, no matter how hard Luke tries.

If the seller has explicitly said they’re not taking offers, that means they’re not taking offers. You could try to sweet-talk your way into a deal, or you could try to bully the seller into submission, but it’s not going to work. So save yourself the headache and respect the seller’s boundaries.

The Entitlement

There’s no denying that being a parent is tough. The sleepless nights, the endless laundry, the constant stream of snack requests — it’s enough to drive anyone crazy. But does being a parent entitle you to discounts on video game consoles?

To be honest, we’re not even sure if this woman is a mother. After all, wouldn’t a mother prioritize having to buy food or diapers for her kids instead of a gaming console? Especially if she is short on money. Oh, and this woman’s audacity to say, “what kind of deal can you give me?” None!

Throwing Some Shade

This buyer is forging a steal of a deal. The buyer offers to buy a couch for less than half of its original price. “Come on, it’s not like it’s made of gold,” he insists, as if the seller is somehow trying to swindle them of their cash.

Couches are expensive for a reason — they’re heavy, and they’re meant to last for years. You could go to a garage sale and find a ratty old couch for $20, but if you want something that’s actually comfortable, you’re going to have to pay a bit more.

Poor Planning

When it comes to getting a discount, some people will try anything, including, apparently, listing off a bunch of personal problems in hopes that the seller will take pity on them. Take this buyer who overshared that she had gotten blisters on her feet and has three little kids.

Sorry, buyer, but unless those blisters are contagious, they’re not really the seller’s problem. And as for your kids, well, that’s just poor planning on your part. If you can’t afford to have the item delivered to your place, maybe don’t strike a deal.

We Choose Pain

Oh boy, this is a classic. The buyer thinks they can sweeten the deal by offering to pay in pleasure. Because apparently, the seller is supposed to be so desperate for the company that they’ll give away their goods for free.

That’s just not how commerce works. Now that you have wasted this buyer’s effort and time, we would gladly part ways and forget you ever existed. We will have to reject your counter-offer to pay in pleasure. Because, as you have guessed, we prefer pain.