The Eccentric World Of eBay: Where Oddball Products Get Posted In Need Of A New Home

Come one, come all to the biggest and quirkiest fair of all time. Make sure that you have got your cards with you because you will certainly max them out with one or more of these products we have lined up. eBayBae, a page on Instagram, has put in a great amount of effort to satisfy every eccentric’s collection.

We have got a necklace meant to ensure social distancing. We have also got a full-face mask guaranteeing zero visibility. It’s perfect for when you’re at the office but absolutely horrendous when you’re going down a flight of stairs. Nonetheless, we’re sure that you’ll turn heads with this couture item while you’re bumping into sharp desk corners or irate bosses.

So how about it? Make sure to listen to your consumerist impulse and click add to cart on these crazy eBay finds!

Otherworldly Escape

Have you ever thought about packing your bags and just leaving town? We have. But whenever we make a move for it, we can’t help but wonder that moving to a different town might not be enough. Making a move to another planet might.

Which do you find more entertaining, the rad design or the fact that it can be delivered to your doorstep via free shipping? Of course, you’ll need an intergalactic crew to man the ship, after which it’s all yours for the taking.

Easy to Clean

We have seen many impressive aquariums, but nothing quite like this. In fact, we can’t understand why this person took inspiration from one of several astromech droids on Queen Padme’s Royal Starship. Wouldn’t the poor fish freeze in intergalactic temperatures?

That may be a whopping price to ask, but just how many R2-D2s would you come across that are willing to hold a school of fish? Line the length of that tank with some LED lights, and you have got an impressive display of your amphibious friends.

Professional Finger Sports

Some of you wanted more finger sports, and the internet listened. Not only do we have professional finger skateboarding, but now we have professional finger boxing. Watch this fighter throw some serious punches at his punching bag. It looks like a knockout at every swing.

With free shipping and boxing set for you and your finger, what’s not to like? You can spend some time working on that flex while you’re at the office or when you’re at home. Just make sure to keep these toys after use, lest a child might actually want to play with them.

Urban Gardening

With limited space and soil in the city, many millennials are turning to urban gardening to grow a couple of plants. Urban gardening can use hydroponics—the use of water instead of soil as a medium bed for nutrients. And with these classy plant pots, who wouldn’t want to try them?

We would suggest that you hang these bad boys upright, though. It would make filling them up easier, and it would also be less likely for spills around your home. But try to choose plants that won’t grow too large.

Combined with Plastic Waste

Face masks may no longer be required; however, there was a time when celebrities and red-carpet divas wanted to make them aesthetically pleasing. It’s just not sexy to wear a surgical-grade mask to the awards show. So, some celebs wanted something more fashion-forward.

We have got a fascinating item before us. With a little glue, some shells and pearls, and plastic waste, we have upcycled a protective face mask. There’s no guarantee that you can breathe normally, but then again, we could say the same for the medical-grade masks.

Whip My Tail

One thing that we realized about eBay is that items can be popular based on the user’s location. Anime books are more in demand in Japan and Southeast Asia, whilst chargeable horsetail lights are nearly out of stock in the Wild West.

Of course, it doesn’t benefit your horses, not one bit. It may even aggravate them as they have annoying accessories yanking their tails. However, it makes for a cute decoration if you ever find yourselves spending time in a dark barn.

Perfect for Women

While pottery is an art form that can be enjoyed by any gender, there is some art that appeals to women more than it does to men. Take this, for example. This Tex the Reptile Man bust is a winner amongst middle-aged women and cat ladies. Wonder why?

Of course, we can only do so much guessing why they love this lone item. It might largely be because of the eccentric design or the fact that there’s only one bust like this in the entire world. It helps that there’s this poking stick dead smack in the middle of its head, too.

Head Turner

If you have always struggled to get people’s attention, all you have to do is buy yourself a full-face mask inspired by Mason Margiela. Without a doubt, you will be turning heads (and breaking legs as you stumble down a flight of stairs with zero visibility).

This is the best offer yet! For only $250, you get a lifetime’s worth of broken bones, plus you get to protect yourself from any germs. You would have to get a fitting as this design is custom-made. You deserve to get your money’s worth!

For the Socially Anxious

Minutes after this creator posted it on eBay, it was out of stock. Introverts and socially-anxious individuals just had to buy a couple of necklaces for when they’re made to report to the office. It may weigh a ton, but at least people are kept at a far distance.

It’s a failsafe way to guarantee that people observe social distancing around you. You wouldn’t have to worry about people whose backs are turned towards you. They will feel the slight nudge of the edge of this necklace, pushing them aside.

Keeping Guests Away

Here’s another charm for the old widow that lives down the street. Refusing to buy herself a doorbell, she uses this vintage door knocker to inform her when guests come over. It’s easy to understand why she doesn’t have anyone come by often.

She wouldn’t have sold it if it weren’t for the fact that it only works for adults. Kids don’t get their fair scare during Halloween. They aren’t tall enough to see this creepy, old door knocker staring them in the face.

Chip Off the Old Block

Whoever doesn’t know of Billie Eilish must have been living under a rock this past decade. The American singer-songwriter shot to fame after her hit song “Ocean Eyes.” Like Gwen Stefani, she made it cool for girls to wear baggy male clothing.

This die-hard fan just had to fashion a doll after the singer-songwriter. It is a spitting image, isn’t it? Just look at its dyed-blue hair and those ocean eyes. We can’t say much about anything else, but this doll is a fan favorite.

Waking Up in Cold Sweat

Whoever created this decal art has a wry sense of humor. While this makes for a jaw-dropping design, it’s not something we would want lining the walls of a kid’s nursery or a toddler’s room. There’s nothing particularly fun about having to watch the Titanic sink.

With the depth of the Atlantic Ocean ready to engulf you, and icy waters robbing your body of its warmth, kids are likely to wake up in cold sweat. Of course, they might be way too young to understand what’s going on. But it’s likely they’ll ask once they come of age.

Bleh

Grew up with condescending parents? Now that you’re an adult, it might feel like life is incomplete without someone looking down on you. So, while you’re at it, how about purchasing yourself a pair of these? Simply put them atop shelves and watch them sneer at you.

Better yet, pass on that generational hurt to your kids. Watch them grow up playing with these toys so that they can grow the same wry humor you have now that you’re a scarred adult. You have got to start them young!

Something’s Afoot

Speaking of your young one, we have got an item that would keep ’em busy and you howling with laughter. These pacifiers are one of a kind. If you ever wondered what they would look like if they had an overbite, then give them these to suck on.

Guaranteed, your young ones will be preoccupied the rest of the day. Of course, we would only suggest that you have them use this until they’re three years old. After that, you have got to prep them for orthodontic treatment (sold separately).

Negative Association

This is a perfect way to get your loved one off the computer. It may be expensive, but believe us; it’s definitely worth it. Just make sure to hide your partner’s old mouse so that he would be forced to use this gem-crusted device.

It sure is dazzling, isn’t it? That way, your partner will not be inclined to hurl this mouse against the wall. He might be tempted to hand in his resignation letter now that he has negatively associated his work with pain and discomfort.

Every Art Museum Be Like

Before we became art collectors, we used to look at all pieces of art and find them to be extremely overpriced. What’s the point of looking at the Mona Lisa? She isn’t necessarily considered beautiful by today’s standards. And look at items such as this surrealist chair below.

A grade-schooler could do a better job with paper mache than this creator right here. To be fair, this art chair reminds us of the power of the unconscious and dreams. However, it’s more likely to give us surrealist nightmares than be a source of inspiration.

Telling All

This is as bizarre as it gets. We finally have got a full-blown confession from Joseph Allen Maldonado, AKA Joe Exotic. Apart from greed, you’ll finally know why the Tiger King perpetrated a murder-for-hire scheme. There is just a catch.

You have got to do the storytelling for him. We’re certain that you can pull it off. Almost everyone has a desire for money, fame, and attention in this day and age. So, it might be easy to get inside the mind of the Tiger King with his love for fur and danger.

Shine Bright Like A Diamond

We couldn’t help but do a double-take. We thought it would have been a waste of money to see this many crystals lining the length of a plug, but then we noticed that it was meant to be worn as a pendant. Would you ever consider wearing one of these?

It looks like nice enough, but we would rather settle for a butterfly brochure or a timeless pin. There’s nothing beautiful about seeing a plug pendant adorning your thousand-dollar evening dress. Someone ought to pull the plug on this idea.

How to Save a Life

This dad hears a loud thud on the kitchen floor. He turns around to see that his wife is lying on the floor unconscious. He feels a pulse and rushes to call for help. Then he rushes to his kid’s room to find the emergency kit.

He knew it had to be there somewhere. He rummages beneath the stack of toys and finds the miniature handcrafted hospital cart to look for anything to help resuscitate his wife. If the resuscitation fails, then, well, at least he has the miniature morgue cart too.

Easy to Launder

This family takes three whole days to launder their sheets. You read that right! It takes them days, despite having to use washing machines. That’s because all their sheets are made from this upcycled, durable material. Not the best idea they’ve ever had.

Would you look at that? Someone actually thought to buy one of these things and then used it on their bed. It might have made for pretty decor, but wait for laundry time, and they would need three grown men to haul this denim quilt out of the washing machine.

Sexy Baby

Here’s a blast from the past. We have got a pair of pants that look like they graced the covers of magazines in the 70s. It looks like something your granddad would have worn while he rebelled against “the man.”

While we would never consider these to be a great fashion choice, the message behind them is not bad. They remind the public to vote whenever there are elections. Who you vote for is your business, but it’s just important that you exercise your democratic rights.

Leading Man

Now that Danial Craig has retired from being the Secret Service’s top agent, people can’t help but wonder who the next 007 will be. We have insider details that the next spy has disguised himself with a quilted jacket and will be exiting the stall in 3, 2, 1…

Okay, so it might have been a diversion. The real 007 has made his way into a sportscar and has sped away to go to another exotic locale and track another madman. Until then, we can only hope to hear news of Daniel Craig’s successor soon.

Must be Complicated

If you ever want to make money selling a scam product, all you have got to do is make the product complicated. People can just submerge their faces in a bowl of ice water, and it would have roughly the same effect as using this unnecessary face mask.

Now, imagine having that on your face. After a ten-minute session, you will take it off, and you will see indentations all over your skin. Tell us if it’s worth the $50 – $125 investment. Anyone with a brain would use a bowl of icy water.

Must be Shipped Out Soon

Good luck getting this item cleared by customs. Because, unlike the other products on this list, this one is actually alive. The Spiny Flower Mantis is common in southern and eastern Africa and can live for only six to nine months.

The good news is that by the time this spiny flower mantis gets to your doorstep, it will already be dead and in a state of decay. In the rare circumstance that it arrives alive, you better have the necessary equipment to provide it with habitable conditions.

Cute Family

While you’re shopping for yourself, make sure to buy a couple of items for your mom. For only $300, you can buy her this condiment set. She can put table napkins, toothpicks, salt, and pepper in them. It’s pretty nifty.

You might have wondered why this condiment set costs so much. Needless to say, it’s the design that you’re paying for. With a gorgeous family to help your guests with their dining, it’s worth the extra money. Your mom will be happy with this keepsake.

Back in High School

No matter where you went to school, you can admit that there were different cliques in high school. There were the school jocks, the prom queens, and the nerds. Meanwhile, we were just trying to survive puberty and get out of there alive. To paint you a picture…

We were hiding in plain sight. No one knew of us, and no one could remember our name despite it having been called by the teacher every day of the school week. Now that we’re adults, we have learned that our wardrobe needs a little shearing.

Quality-tested

If you’re just like us, then you would be meticulous about the quality of the products you buy. You deserve only the best when you purchase items with your hard-earned money. So you needn’t worry about this red foam circus costume.

It has been quality tested at least 15 times before it was (hopefully) disinfected and put inside a box. Should there be any defects, you can always have it returned and your money refunded to you. It’s perfect for lovers of the circus.

Dry Your Tears

If you have got a gift for mom, then make sure to add this item to your cart for your dad! We’re certain he will appreciate this token of appreciation, even if he has no need for a tissue box inside the car.

We don’t know what is so fetching about this tissue box cover to make it cost $120, but it looks similar enough to a Toyota AE86. This deflated box cover just needs a little tuning up, and it will be ready to pace the streets in no time.

Fits A Dime

We used to dream of having a dollhouse or a miniature set. It’s surprising to know that collectors’ miniature items cost so much. Take this Dior purse that can only hold a couple of cents at a time. It’s absolutely worthless, but it will still cost you nearly $400.

With that insane price tag, the least they can do is cover shipping costs. Of course, you can always cut off a piece of leather from your regular-sized Christian Dior handbags and then fashion a finger purse yourself. But where’s the fun in that?

Who Let the Dogs Out

This next bit may betray our age. But we can’t help but look at this shirt and sing, “who let the dogs out?” This military jacket will help camouflage you in a sea of mutts. After all, that is a scenario we find ourselves in quite often.

It may be years out of fashion but know that trends come and go. Who knows, the Kardashians might make it couture once again this year or the next? You can re-sell this clothing item for twice the cost and have your customer pay the shipping fees.

The Stamp of Hollywood

We’re starting to think that people are biased to buy branded items. Most are not really buying with the quality of goods in mind. Most buy for the strip of cloth or the designer insignia to prove they have a six-digit income.

We’d bet you that people would race towards the nearest boutiques to buy this crocheted funky hat if it had “Balenciaga” scribbled over it. People should actually buy this because its materials were upcycled, and they would be doing their part to help save nature.

Protective Sleeve

Despite having been put on the marketplace for more than three years now, not one of these protective sleeves has been sold. This item is meant to protect a glassworker’s arms and shoulders to prevent them from getting any glass punctures.

These sleeves are made from reinforced, white cotton denim. And if you’re worried about this strap being uncomfortable to wear, then don’t fret. There are holes in them to allow for ventilation. Disclaimer: This will not protect you from falling shards of glass.

Start Them Young

Today’s parents can’t wait for their kids to grow up. That’s why they’re dressing them up as adults. Instead of changing them into pjs and some comfortable, furry slippers, parents are forcing them into cropped tops and stiletto baby heels.

That’s a whopping price. This pair of stiletto baby heels probably costs more than our entire wardrobe. If you buy one, make sure to slip it on your kid, lest they outgrow it the next year. That would be a waste of money, now, wouldn’t it?

Paired With Momma

With your kid sporting a pair of Tom Ford stiletto heels, make sure to buy yourself a pair too! We would suggest this two-in-one classic. Wear it like you would wear your pants, and then immediately slip your feet into these killer size 38 boots.

Never mind the fact that these blue velvet pants, with slip-on boots, cost less than the baby Tom Ford stiletto heels. However, what happens if you need to take your shoes off while out? Seems like it would be a sticky situation.

Order!

People were baffled to see that the courthouse was nearly bare. It took them a couple of seconds to realize what was missing. They felt the ache of their feet when they realized they would have to stand for the whole court session.

Next thing they knew, the meeting house bench was being sold online for a whopping $9599. Hopefully, it will take the local authorities no time to discover the mastermind behind this petty theft and bring him or her to justice.

Never too Old

Don’t you wish you could turn back time to when you were younger? You had parents to look after you and a home-cooked meal to smother your senses as soon as you walked in the door. Not to worry. This adult pacifier can help soothe the nerves after a long day.

Simply tie your hair in pigtails and then suck on this adult pacifier. If you cry loud enough, someone might actually attend to your needs. The best part is you can suck all you want without worrying about the extra calories.

Used

Call it whatever name you wish, but a pre-loved item is just the same as a hand-me-down. As much as we want to recycle secondhand items, we would have to say “no” to buying someone of the “pre-loved” items on offer.

These plushies are “used,” and yet we would not have guessed that these were pre-owned based on the price this person is selling them for. They might have been kept in mint condition as they were stored behind a glass case, a rare exception for plush toys.

Pretend Eat

Yoyo dieting is out, and pretend play is in. Now, you won’t have to worry about counting your daily calorie intake. You can take a whiff of these plastic toys, bite into them, and then know that you will not gain an inch of fat.

You can adorn your plate with as much faux food to trick your brain into thinking you have one too many side dishes. Just the sight of this smorgasbord is enough to make us full. So what are you waiting for? Place those orders now!

Wind-resistant

There is not much that is as expensive as being a hobbyist. When you have more than one interest, you actually have to invest in gear, equipment, and even clothing. Imagine using windbreaker slip-ons for scuba diving. It wouldn’t work, would it?

As we said, you have to match your equipment to the sport you’re interested in. These windbreaker slip-ons are perfect for casual walking on meandering slopes. But think twice about using these for a mountain hike. You might end up walking barefoot.

As If You Were Inked

Once again, Alessandro Michele was the talk of the town for his 2017 Angel collection. After reading religious sources, he made tracksuits inspired by winged guardians. But some fans were quick to say that these were inspired by something else entirely.

It almost looks like he had taken a look from the Yakuza. Try wearing this tracksuit, and it would look like you were an underworld mafia boss with strict codes of conduct and ritual practices such as yubitsume. Not a good look.

Perfect for Gymrats

Here is the perfect gift for your narcissistic gym rat friend. Whereas before, you dreaded picking them up from the gym with their smelly locker room smell, now you won’t have to hold your breath the whole car ride home.

Give them a handful of silica gels to stash into their bags or their locker rooms. Without a doubt, this nifty hack will rid them of their musty smell. Pair it with a bath, and your gym rat friend can head straight to work after a half-hour weightlifting session.

Thaws the Heart

Try as this person might, he can’t seem to make a good impression on his new neighbors. He always has a smile on his face and goes out of his way to help out strangers. He also heads over to their houses to give housewarming gifts such as these.

We’re sure that this guy has every good intention of welcoming new faces to the neighborhood. But we would suggest that he give them a platter of food rather than a handmade tissue box cover that looks like it has been coughed up by a grade-schooler.

Headless

Even to this day, Muhammad Ali is known for being the greatest boxer ever. He might have lost to Joe Frazier in the Fight of the Century, but he’s still known as the legend years after his retirement and his death.

Now, Muhammad Ali is quite a remarkable fellow, and it’s difficult to forget his face. We can remember his slightly rounded face, intense eyes, jet-black hair, and his medium stature. But we have never known him to be headless. How strange.

What We Meant by Loafers

Here’s a fashion staple amongst those born with old money: they have one too many loafers. It’s dubbed as a symbol of elegant leisure, dispensing the need to tie laces. But these shoes were always made of leather…or so we thought.

To this day, loafers still represent comfort. But the loafers we see today are vastly different from the mocassin staple of the 70s and 80s. Today’s loafers are literally fashioned from loaves of bread. Just wedge in your salami feet and wrap in foil. Serve fresh.

Daily Struggle

Whoever created this birdhouse clearly didn’t think it through. Next to airplanes, what do you think birds dread flying into the most? Speeding cars, of course! The poor things are just not fast enough to dodge the speeding glass windows.

It almost seems like cruel mockery to have birds live inside this NASCAR-inspired birdhouse. But the silver lining to it is that at least these wild birds are inspired to flee at NASCAR speeds from their homes, ensuring an early migration.